I guess comfort is in order...for now...

So it is official. I have decided after much prayer and discussion with APU that I will not be taking the position in Germany next year. Though this would be an ideal for me to live aboard, and Germany is a place I have always wanted to go back to, I don't think that this is opportunity for me.
When I asked for a job description from APU this is what I got,"You will have time to take a class at the University or work at the local K-Mart". Yup. That's what he said. So I added it up in my head and I felt that not only would I be lonely as the only staff person there, I would be bored which would eventually equal depressed. And also it seemed like a step backward professionally for me.
So I am moving on from there. Where to? I'm not sure. I've been doing a lot of thinking on the future recently, and the more I think about it, the more muddy it seems to become. Because of this I am learning that I just need to really be in what God has given me today. He hasn't promised me tomorrow or next year. So I need to do the best with what he's given me today, and do all I can to bring glory to his name. Lofty goal to be sure, but very hard for us sinners. But I keep praying that with each day God, in his grace, will choose to use me in whatever way he sees fit.
"Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own." Matthew 6:34

Don't get too comfortable...

No sooner do I write a post about how I finally feel at home, then I get a call that could potentially change all of that very quickly.

Last week I got a call from APU offering me a position in their new Study Abroad program in Germany for their School of Music students! I would essentially be doing the same thing I am now, being a Residence Director, but it would just happen to be in another country across a really big ocean.

At first glance this seems like the oppurtunity of a life time. What better time than now to move to an forgien country and live in a beautiful city and get paid for it? There probably isn't one. And then there is the fact that I've been wanting to go back to Germany for sometime now and experience it as an adult, since I left right after I finished the 4th grade. I will also get experience with international higher education, which is a field I would like to spread into the farther I get into my career. Hiedelberg is home to one of the world's oldest universities, and I'm sure there are a wealth of things I could learn from that as well. I would be able to travel to other countries in Europe while living in Germany. That would be so much easier and cheaper than trying to go back later in life for a vacation. And the list goes on.

However there are many pros to staying were I am currently. I have a great job, and the possibility for advancement into another position in the coming year. I have begun to establish myself here. I have a great church that I feel privileged to be apart of. I have been able to play alot here and have established myself as a good musician in the area. I have made good friends and that is saying something as it took ahwhile for that to happen. I love the area here. There are many good reasons to stay.

However the choice is not up to me. I am pryaing so fervently that God's will would be done in this situation. I want to follow His leading, but I feel so often that gets confused with our own desires. I would covet your prayers during this time as I have 3 weeks from today to make a decision. Needless to say, I am a little over whelmed. This is a big decision and I don't want to step into this lightly. I welcome any questions or comments you might have as this might help me in my decision making process.

I love you all and hope that this finds you enjoying the start of a the fall season!

Finally Home

Hello Friends and Family,

It has been awhile since I last wrote on here. Life has moved pretty darn quickly the last month. I can't believe that we are a week and a half away from October! Before you know it, it will be Christmas and then we'll be ringing in the New Year.

As I think about time flying by, I realize that I feel like I'm finally home. Time is whizzing by me because I'm not constantly looking behind me longing for other days. I'm also not looking ahead, longing for my future in another place. I am right here, in the everyday, trying to soak in every minute of it.

And I am, and in the process seeing the days fly by very quickly. I feel so blessed that God has seen fit to grant me so many blessings that I am so completely far from deserving. 6 months ago I was in the worst place of my life, not knowing how I could possibly make it through another year of my job. But here I am living life and loving it. I have been blessed with an amazing family of friends here, both inside and outside of school. I have been blessed by a terrific church and the blessing of the fellowship there. I have been blessed by my staff in how hard they work and how much they love on my everyday. I have been blessed by gracious professors who are allowing me to fix my mistakes. I have so much that I don't deserve.

Still at times I am discontent. But I think that is the way of life for a believer in Christ knowing that this world is not our home and so we long for something more. Also I still struggle with past pain and trying to understand myself in light of my circumstances. But I have no reason to fear or be sad as I know that no matter what, God holds me in his hand and even when I feel lost, he knows exactly where I am. He is truly the lover of my soul, though I don't deserve such a precious gift.

So I will strive to continue to live well in this life I've been giving and continually thank God for his blessings. I will stumble and fall, but I pray for the grace of God to help me get back up and lean on the only one who can get me through until I am Finally Home.

Amen

Its' been awhile...

Oh my, how many things have happened in the last month!!

Quick over view:
1.)Went to the lake for our AC retreat and as we didn't have a boat, I got towed around in an intertube pulled by a paddle boat.
2.)Went home to help my dad celebrate his 50th birthday! It was big doings' at the Edmister house.
3.)The RA's came back at the beginning of August as we had a whale of a time at our retreat! Then we came back to start training and did stupid things like a slip-n-slide. Note to friends, not a good idea if you over like ten as throwing your body at the ground at high speeds really hurts the next day.
4.)The residents moved back in. Praise the Lord it went amazingly smoothly. I have no complaints about the day except for the heat, which was a problem all over the country.
5.)Classes started and I got a day off. My first in a 2 and a half weeks. It was a amazing. Just a time to catch up on my life and get things done so I can be ready for the school year.
6.)MY BEST FRIEND GOT ENGAGED!!! I'm so excited for many reasons...1. Two of my favorite people in the world are getting married to each other 2. I get to go back to California 3. I get to wear a pretty dress and walk down the aisle with out having to get married myself! Yeah!!
7.)I start my first masters course next week. AHHH!!! I'm not ready for this yet, but it's in God's hands, so I know in his eyes I'll be ok.
8.)Learning so much at the moment that it hurts. God has been stretching, but I know that he is faithful to his promises. His discipline does end.
9.)I love you all and hope you are all well.

EXCITED!!

There are so many things that I am excited about right now...
1.) The RA's are moving in a week from Thursday.
2.) All of a sudden many of my Australian friends from high school are popping up on Facebook.
3.) Next summer should be a great one!
It's a good day!

What have I done?

I think I got myself a new job today. How I did that I don't know. I was sitting in the cafeteria eating lunch with a candidate for the Director of Student Activties position. She is currently the director of Multi-Ethnic Student programs at another school. The conversation turned to international student relations at Anderson. And before I knew it all 3 of my co-workers at the table and pointed their fingers at me to become the Advisor for the International Club at Anderson. This poceeded into saying the position needed to be permanent and that they could create a house for me where MY office would be that I could use for the international students. Then I was creating a table for the international club at Anderson and the schools annual club fair in less than a month! Then I was getting all the old information from the international club's active days on campus. Then I was recuiting one of my RA's this year to help me out. How did this happen? I guess that is an example of God giving you what you ask for. 3 days ago I expressed a passion to my co-workers for international students and today they're talking about finding someone to replace me in a year. So to answer the question about what I have done? Nothing. God's done everything. I just pray I can keep up!

BUGS...I HATE BUGS!!!

Ok...so before it was spiders. Spiders in my bedroom, spiders climbing up my leg while I'm sitting on my couch...not cool! But now? Oh yes, now I have a full fledged hornets nest that has been attached to the blinds in my bathroom! Some how they have found a way in and there is a baseball sized nest attached to my blinds at the very top facing the window. Now my windows are about 5 feet tall. How am I supposed to get it down! I put a work order into Physical Plant to have them remove it, but it's still there. That was on Sunday...it's Thursday! I have to live here! I will admit that living alone has helped me cope with the fact that big bugs come along and I have to kill them...but this is ridiculous! They are getting a call tomorrow believe you me! Ugh...I hate bugs...darn the South.

Going to school, before it starts...

It is amazing to me how much learning takes place outside of the traditional classroom. As I think back over this past year, I realize that I am not the same person I was in many ways, and I am so completely thrilled by that fact. Sure to look at me and hang out with me if you've known me for any length of time, you might not think there was any great change, but I know it's there. They always say that it's what on the inside that counts and I truly believe that. The journey that God has so graciously brought me on this year has taught me so much about the inside. He has taught me about grace, healing, submission, totally depravity, hope, mercy and love. Though the road has been a tough one, I can say that I wouldn't go back, and I wouldn't have changed things either. He has so graciously kept me in the palm of his hand that I know I have never been close to peril. Every trial, any amount of suffering that I endured was all used by his skillful hand to prune of the dead layers of my soul and spirit to give me a life more abundant. Pruning is something that the world of gardeners understands as necessary for healthy growth to take place, and I understand that truth as being so important for our lives. The dead growth around us can suffocate us if we are not pruned and cut back to let the light of Christ's amazing love shine through into our inner most being. It is truly amazing grace. The character of John Newton in the movie "Amazing Grace" says, "Though my memory is fading, two things I remember quite clearly, I am a great sinner and Christ is a great Savior." How true those words ring out to me. When my memory fades, if I remember nothing else, I hope that it is that. I pray for each and everyone of you that you know and understand that precious gift. If not, know that it is something so willingly given to those whose hearts seek after it.

The Biltmore!

Alright, so I have a new love in my life and it is a a very large house. My mom and grandma came to visit me this past weekend and on Monday we went to the Biltmore Estate in Asheville, NC. It was amazing. The house was finished in 1895 and was built by George W. Vanderbilt. It is the largest privately owned residence in the US. You get to take a self guided tour of five floors of the house. Then there are the 8,000 acres of the grounds that the family still owns. The dining hall has to be at least 4 stories high with a triple fire place and organ. There is an indoor heated swimming pool, one of the first private bowling alleys in the country and a gymnasium. In the main saloon on the first floor, there is a chess set that was owned (and I assume played) by Napolean Bonaparte. I'm mean, why not! I could go on forever, but no one wants to hear that. I just want you all to come and visit me so we can go and see this incredible place! And ride bikes along the bike paths and maybe ride horses! Yipee!

California Dreaming...

Well my big chunk of trips is over for a little while. California was absolutely amazing. I didn't realized how much I missed it. I got to eat at all of my favorite places; In-in-out, B-man's, Numero Uno, Cornerstone Coffee Shop, Coffee Bean and Tea Leaf. I got to go to the Getty and the beach. My favorite college professor had my friends and I over for dinner and BBQ'd for us all. I got to see my cousin graduate and hang out with my family. I got to see friends that had been married since I left. I got to spend some great one-on-one time with my favorite people. It was a glorious time but a sad one too as I realize how much I fit in with my friends and family there, but my life is here. I have so many oppurtunities there, but I am here and am supposed to be here. I have had a great experiences here, filled with many life lessons. I have enjoyed all the sweet tea and pulled pork, but so much of my heart is there. I don't know what will be in my future, but working on trusting it that the Lord has it all under control. Thank you Father for this precious time and grant me peace for letting go of my future...

School, Vacation and Black Tea

Well it is offical...I have been accepted into the Organizational Leadership program at Regent University! Whew! Three years of homework here I come. But luckily, I have a lot of time on my hands here. I am really excited about this oppurtunity to learn and I'm excited for the oppurtunities this degree will bring to me in the future. It seems strange to think that this is really happening. It was something I never even thought of doing until a short while ago. So here I go into a new adventure trusting that Christ will help me through!
Something else that is official is that as of 4:30 this afternoon I am on vacation! I will be flying into the sunny state of California in about 28 hours. I can't wait! There is lots of fun in store as I am seeing lots of fun people! I can't wait for this as I left California over a year ago and haven't been back since. The only downside is that I have to wake up at 4:30 a.m. to drive to Atlanta to catch my flight, but that is where the black tea comes in! I'll be making a huge mug of that tomorrow with lots of sugar!
I hope that this finds you all weel enjoying the month of June. It's beautiful out so go and have an adventure!

Back home...for now...

It's Monday and I am back at the grind stone after a great time in MN for the National ACSD conference last week. I had such a fantastic time! It was so great to be around hundreds of other people in my field, just knowing they understand my position and what it is I'm going through. I also got to spend some time with my former boss Jenny which was fantastic! She always kicks my butt and doesn't let me get away with the excuses I've created for not doing things. Through conversations with her and some great keynote speakers as well as some great workshops I went to, I've begun to think a lot about my worldview. I've realized that since being in South Carolina, I've become an ostrich with my head stuck in the sand most of the time. I have no concept of what is going on in the world around me and have lost a lot of my sympathey and empathy. I have also lost alot of my vision and passion. My tv has become my best friend, and some how I'm o.k. with that. But I shouldn't be. I need to get my head out of the sand and look around me and ask God, "What would you have me do?" And be preared to get dirty.

Bugs...I Hate Bugs

As I am leaving on Monday for a trip to the Midwest, I felt that my house needed a once over. That's all well and good, but I've had a major insect infestation problem that I wanted to take care of first. So out comes Megan with a super LARGE can of insect spray, ready to take charge. I sprayed the interior of my house, then proceeded to spray all of my windows from the outside...and what do I find when I walk back in my house? LARGE SPIDERS crawling over the areas I just sprayed! How much does that suck! If it's supposed to be bad for humans to ingest, how come it can't kill bugs! Ugh...so after killing the large arachnid in my bedroom, I finished cleaning...and found many, many, many more large (thankfully dead) insects. I promise I actually clean my house quite frequently, I guess it's just part of living in a hundred year old building. Charming. Anyway...I can't wait for that big strong man someday who hopefully comes with bug killing skills of his own!

June Already...

I can't believe that tomorrow will be the first of June. It seems as though this year has flown by in many ways. However we all have those moments when the whole world seems to slow down and the days never seem to end. I know my mom and I feel that the summer is one of those times. It is when the weather is beautiful, but you are stuck inside and don't feel like there is much going on to keep your attention. Ugh...However the horizon is looking brighter. On Monday our staff is living to St. Paul, MN for the annual ACSD (Association of Christians in Student Development) conference. It is being held at Northwesten College and should be a great time. My former boss Jenny will be there and I'm looking forward to catching up with her. Then there is my big trip for the summer...I'm going to CA to visit for a week! I am so excited to see all of my dear friends again and just drive around seeing famliar sights. So if you are going to be around the area from the 16th to the 23rd I would love to try and see you! Alright, it is time to take a big breath and try and be productive for the last 50 mins. of the work day. Happy Thursday!

Something New!

Dear Friends and Family,

Well, as there are alot of my friends who have gone the way of the blog, I have decided to start one as well. Mostly because I feel this is a good way for me to keep you all updated on the ways of the world in South Carolina. I had for awhile sent you all an update e-mail every now and then letting you know what was up, but that hasn't happened in ages. So here is my new attempt at keeping in touch! We'll see how it goes. Let me know what you think of it!